Hello everyone!
Sorry this post is late. I had a whirlwind weekend getaway and didn't get home until after 3am on Monday! Andrew and I visited Kizkalesi. It was a quick but much needed vacation.
Now, moving on!
I've been in Turkey for 8 months now. I've learned enough Turkish to get by and even have a short conversation (even though I sound like a 5 year old). I've learned some of the customs, like taking your shoes off before entering someone's home, the Turkish "no" (lift your eyebrows and click your tongue...what?!), and saying thank you to mean yes or no (it's an art, really).
I think I've adjusted pretty well. I've mostly come to accept that buses, or people for that matter, are rarely on time, I can practically cross the street with my eyes closed, and I hardly even notice the call to prayer anymore.
However, there are still some days where I find myself saying, "WTF, why?!" It can be frustrating navigating life in a culture that is much different from your own. Sometimes, I want to get on the first plane home. I want to scream and stomp my feet like a toddler. I want to curse at whoever it is that, according to my Western standards, inconvenienced me that day.
Luckily, I have figured out a few ways of dealing with these annoyances!
1. Accept that you cannot change the culture you are living in in order to convenience yourself.
Cultures and customs develop over hundreds and thousands of years. A foreigner losing their marbles over someone cutting them in line or a bus being late is not going to make anything better. Sometimes it's best to remind yourself that a.) it is unlikely that anyone is acting in such a way to purposefully make your day worse, b.) someone from your host country would likely have just as hard of a time in your home country, and c.) difficult times are often our best teachers. As travelers and expats, we are not in our host countries to experience our home culture. We left in order to experience something new, and sometimes, that means rough patches. Learn from it, and move on!
2. Ask yourself why you are bothered.
Are you thinking to yourself, "This would NEVER happen in the U.S./Canada/Germany/UK/etc."? Well, my friend, that is what we call Eurocentric thinking, and there's a whole lot of ingrained racism and classism there. Perhaps you have gotten used to the pleasures and conveniences of the "Western" world. Reliable internet and electricity, safe roads, and punctual public transportation are all a luxury. Let's face it: we have it pretty damn good in North America and Western Europe. Other people in SE Asia, the Middle East, Africa, and South America aren't so lucky. Instead of flying off the handle, why not count your blessings or make the most of the situation instead? Your internet stopped working? At least you have internet in your own home! Why not go for a walk and explore your host city? Your bus is late? Lucky you, you have access to cheap transportation! Why not bring a book you enjoy just in case it happens again?
3. Talk about it with a local friend.
Does something keep happening that has you stumped? Did you say something to your neighbor or colleague and now they won't speak to you? Did someone say something to you that completely shocked you? Ask a local! Maybe you are missing a cultural cue that you couldn't possibly know because you're a foreigner. Usually, they can clue you in on what happened and why. For example, a few weeks ago, some of my students blatantly asked me if I had gained weight, in the middle of class! I was quite upset, especially because I was already having a low self esteem day. Turns out, talking about weight is no big deal in Turkey. It's even a compliment if you are a married man. It means your wife is a good cook (benevolent sexism, eww.)
Intercultural communication isn't easy. It's even a college major! It takes time, patience, and a whole lot of looking like a complete fool. If you can get through those hard days, you'll come out more confident and informed.
Do you have any tips on dealing with cultural differences? Leave them in the comments!
Until next time,
Heather
xoxo
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